Love and Dating.

10 Lies We Think Are Love

2007-01-14T15:55:00.000-08:00

Real love is an energy that supports us in feeling good. When we feel genuine self-love and self-worth, we experience ourselves as good and capable. A reverence and humility accompanies this deep knowing that we are valuable just for being ourselves. Our worth is not dependent on our doings or our belongings. When genuine self-love and self-worth is present, we attract love and respect from others.

We come into this world with the need to be validated as loveable. We are looking for someone, primarily our parents, to tell us that we are important, that we are loved and cherished, and that we count unconditionally. Even though our spirit knows that we are loveable, our cognitive selves need to hear it. We are looking to be validated all through our infancy, childhood, and teenage years as we move through developmental stages. If we were not given that message and our environment caused us to feel threatened, we may still be looking to have the message that we are loveable given to us as adults. We are stuck in patterns of codependency, looking for love and validation outside of ourselves.

When we were little and love was not as available or predictable, we learned to live without it. We subconsciously created ways of thinking and behaving that helped us feel safer in what seemed like a random world. You may have tried different things to get more love and to support you in feeling more loveable. Some of those ways worked, and to this day, you may subconsciously still believe that you need these patterns in order to be loveable.

The 10 Lies We Think Are Love

Food is love. Our bodies require love through appropriate touch. When that need has not been met, we often turn to food. The root cause of all addictions is the body's need for attention. Food feels good to the body. The body will begin to believe that food is love and will continually seek it out.
Sex is love. This belief supports people in fearing, hating, and despising sex or becoming addicted to it. If you were sexually abused or prematurely affected by sexual experiences, it is common to have the deeper belief that you can only be loved for sex. Sexual addictions are supported by the body's need for affection, and it has come through sexual encounters. Again, the body needs touch and support. If you were sexually abused as a child, your body may go through a cycle of feeling starved for love, getting a quick fix with sex, and then feeling bad for satisfying its need for love with sex.
Money is love. This pattern can get set up in families with money. When emotional love is not flowing freely, money is often used as a substitute. Mom and Dad's money and possessions represent the energy of the
I have to be ill to be loved. If you were given more attention when you were ill as a child, you may still believe that you need this pattern to get noticed. Your sickness may be a way to keep you from living your life fully or from taking responsibility for your life because you feel incapable and afraid. It is something to fall back on when you need to escape and want to hide.
I have to suffer to get love. People in abusive relationships are not familiar with healthy love and how it operates in a relationship. If you were physically punished in your childhood, you may believe that love is being hurt. You will even sabotage healthy relationships to create this so that you can feel your familiar experience again.
I have to fix people to be loved. Many people have a deeper belief that if they are not helping people to get better, then they have no value. If they have no value, they cannot be lovable. The problem with this pattern is that if you need to fix sick and dysfunctional people in order to feel loveable, you will continually attract these people into your life, and they will not get well. You need them to be "unfixable" so that you can stay "loveable."
I have to control you to make it safe to let you love me. Control is one of the biggest patterns in relationships. The deeper belief is that you want to control others before they can control you. It is common for two controllers to be together in a relationship, both only seeing the other in the controlling pattern. At a deeper level, if you still believe that you are a victim, you may use control to create a feeling of safety to prevent yourself from ever being a victim again.
I have to please others to be loved. This pattern is the opposite of a controller pattern. It is more common for women to play this role in a relationship with a controlling man. In this pattern the person is always thinking of other people before she thinks of herself. Everything she thinks or says is processed with the underlying thought of what others will think and what others want. Chronic Fatigue and other energy depletion disorders are common with this pattern.
If I let you love me, you will leave me. Abandonment is at the core of this pattern. If you were abandoned as a child, you may fear that the people you love get hurt, die, or go away. In order to prevent this from happening, you will not let a relationship go very far, or you will sabotage it first. That way, it doesn't hurt as much, and it is more predictable.
Love hurts; relationships are painful. This belief will only support you in creating unhealthy, painful relationships. You will continue to attract people with whom you create a lot of pain. You will support your relationships in being painful in the way you perceive them, think about them, and the choices you make in them. You will go from one relationship to another feeling victimized and hurt, wondering when real love will come your way.

The first step is to understand that your beliefs create your experience. Whatever you believe, either subconsciously or consciously, is what you will get in life. If you don't like what you are getting, change your beliefs. Many of these beliefs are at a subconscious level and are generational beliefs. Limiting beliefs are also rooted in our childhood experiences. You have the opportunity to take control of the phenomenal power of your mind to release these old beliefs and create new ones.

Be willing to end any relationships that cannot be healthy. Hold the following as your motto.

I am worthy of real love. I deserve to be loved and admired by a healthy, loving person. I am attracting people that can and want to create healthy, loving relationships with me. I am ending relationships that cannot be healthy. God loves me, and I love myself.

Should You Online Date?

2006-06-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

Should You Online Date?

Should you go online dating? Why not? That is the answer for many of you who are undecided and unsure of Internet dating. There are many reasons for doing so, and by being a member of online dating services, you are expanding your social circle and raising your hopes to find your perfect match.

Online dating services have grown by leaps and bounds over the years. Most singles have become members of such online dating sites, with high success rates.

Here are some reasons why online dating is perfectly right and safe for you.

It is fun!

In case you did not know or havent heard yet, online dating is the most prominent way of meeting attractive and fun people all over the world. It is safe, easy, and a fun way of meeting and connecting with many great people. Every month, millions of singles all over the world are available for instant communication, with hundreds of thousands signing up as new members.

There are many benefits of online dating.

The benefits of online dating are absolutely endless. For example, most dating services in the Internet have millions of members, mostly active ones that are just waiting to communication with somebody like you for friendship, lunch or dinner dates, and possibly even more. The odds of finding a special mate in these online dating services are very high since these singles intend to meet someone like you. Imagine the millions of potential mates in online dating sites!

The icing on the cake is that most online dating sites offer easy access to a wide variety of people, with their photos, audio and video clips available in an instant. Its like meeting somebody new at the click of a mouse button right in your own home.

Internet Dating is Easy.

Online dating sites have hundreds of millions of members. So, for example, if you dont want somebody because his or her profile doesnt match yours or it doesnt interest you, you can easily move on to another profile. Most, if not all, online dating sites also have features that enable you to state what you look for in a partner...you're likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. Submit them to the online dating site where you are a member, then just wait for emails coming from the online dating services informing you of their latest possible matches for you! Its that easy! You dont have to go to the site every day just to check whos "right" for you.

If somebody piques your interest, you can send them an instant message or an email. And hopefully, they will do the same. From there, you can take the contact to the next level. It is that fast and easy!

Okay, you say, online dating gives you more pros than cons. But, how do you choose from the various online sites out there? Here are some factors that you should consider.

1. Do some budgeting.

Determine how much of your money do you want to be used for online dating. Do a budget. Some internet sites require you to pay one-time fees, while some ask for monthly membership fees.

2. Seek recommendations.

You could ask friends or colleagues who have become acquainted with some online dating sites for their tips in looking for a good dating site. They can give additional information not available from Internet dating sites.

3. Check available sites.

Check the Internet for possible information for dating websites. Try to see what sites are the most popular or least visited.

4. Consider specialized sites.

There are also specialized dating sites available. Some are for seniors, some for homosexuals and some are for different religious affiliations among others.

5. Weigh the cons and pros.

From the online sites that you have checked, select only the top three and compare their advantages and disadvantages with the rest. Factors to be considered are the sites success rate, number of members, features and fees, among others things.

Dating has never been this much fun. Whether it is for friendship or a long-term romantic relationship (even marriage), online dating sites can be very useful and fun.

How to say I love you ?

2006-03-23T06:21:00.000-08:00

Remember the words from an old song...

"Be sure it's true when you say I love you, it's a sin to tell a lie".

The concept of "sin" has lost its meaning for most in our modern era, and even "love" has lost its importance.

If you still believe in "falling in love" then you will realize how difficult it is to say, "I love you" in a meaningful way. Three little words that could change your life forever. The words, themselves, have lost their meaning because of overuse especially when it's not really true. Everybody says them.

However, when you want tell your partner of your love it's such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even "The Seinfeld Show" had an episode on it.

So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.

If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.

After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, "I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever".

Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner's life. Care for your partner's happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.

Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, "Do you love me"?

Brotherly love? Ferdinands square off

2005-11-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

Brotherly love? Ferdinands square off
FOXSports.com - Up to 35 members of the Ferdinand clan will be at the game, with loyalties in the family camp so divided, some will be wearing half and half West Ham and Manchester United shirts. Rio Ferdinand has vowed their will be no brotherly love on show once the first whistle blows at Upton Park on SundayFor

TWO CENTS - Best way to handle a relative who drives you crazy?
San Francisco Chronicle - Cindy Blake, Santa Cruz Just shower them with love and attention Create your own sense of family among the people who love and support you

Learning to Write Their Love
Los Angeles Times - different directions and when we talk, it's almost like a text message: Hey, I love you. Gotta go to learn how to write a love letter. The course has become

Foster families love 'Grandma's house'
Seattle Post Intelligencer - This is what my boys love -- when they come over here and see the other children -- it's been really helpful,' said Ann

Tom HorgenNightlife's track stars
Star Tribune - You've got to show love to neighborhood taverns, right?1

Talent, grace make Love
Arizona Republic - 25, 2005 12:00 AM Bloody headlines often define the big game, this annual pitting of mongoose and snake. It is a rivalry littered with punches, ejections and mountains painted in enemy colors. grace make Love report_js_error(msg, url, search = '-ticker=' + else location = 'http://www./azc-bin/stock version 11) else grace make Love Bright future awaits selfless ASU center

Leo and fellow stars taking the love boat

2005-11-03T06:16:00.000-08:00

Leo and fellow stars taking the love boat
Chicago Sun-Times - BY SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST Lots of celebrity romance news today, starting with Leo. For weeks, friends of Leonardo DiCaprio and his longtime girlfriend, supermodel Giselle Bundchen, have claimed the couple's latest breakup is really for good.

Stevie Wonder Wants More Grammys
ABCNEWS.com - in Tokyo to promote his latest album, 'A Time to Love.' ' I would like to leave the world world lots of love and lots of love songs to sing,' he

It's a Mod, Mod World: '60s scene gets another global revival
San Francisco Chronicle - (11-03) 11:59 PST Los Angeles (AP) -- A banner reading '1966' hangs above DJ Rena Durrant and her turntables at Club Satisfaction in Hollywood. Like before, Mods love minimalist design, sharply tailored clothes, and living and partying well as they maintain a

Carnie Wilson Cooks With 'Love'
ABCNEWS.com - PRESIDENT BUSH ASKS CONGRESS FOR $1.2 BILLION FOR VACCINE TO PROTECT 20 MILLION AMERICANS FROM BIRD FLU Carnie Wilson just released her cookbook, 'To Serve with Love.' Proceeds will be donated to Katrina charities. ( Amazon.com) Nov.

1920s love story transcends death
The Detroit Free Press - 'The Mercy of Thin Air' is a ghost story. It's also a wonderful portrait of a New Orleans woman who dies in 1929. That is its strength. Actually, Ronlyn Domingue's first novel offers two love stories: one from the 1920s, one contemporary. Upon meeting the love of her life, Razi makes an unfortunate proclamation

OES senior finalist in top science contest
The Oregonian - Now a senior at Oregon Episcopal School, Zenisek still has that sense of determination and love of science. This week, he was named a regional finalist in the annual Siemens Westinghouse Competition in Math, Science and Technology.

You, me and the bottle make three

2005-11-02T21:34:00.000-08:00

You, me and the bottle make three
The Daily Utah Chronicle - Nov 02 6:46 AM
Dear Danni, This girl that I started seeing a few weeks ago only wants to kick it when she's wasted. It just seems like she always has a drink in her hand and wants to party. Sometimes it's fun-sometimes it's not. I mean, I want to be able to date her-and remember it too! Danni, do I wait to see if it dies down, or do I confront her about it now? Dear "Drunken Dating," If she only wants to see Save to My Web

Oddly Enough
Independent Record - Nov 02 1:11 AM
BEACHWOOD, Ohio (AP) Big-city girl looking for small-town love? Hardworking farmer with too little time to find that special someone? An Ohio man may have the answer for your dating needs. His online dating service, farmersonly.com, has profiles of more than 1,800 people from around the nation.Save to My Web

Site Helps Farmers, Cowboys Find Country Lovin'

2005-11-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

Site Helps Farmers, Cowboys Find Country Lovin'
10News.com - Think His Tractor's Sexy? November 1, 2005BEACHWOOD, Ohio -- If you're looking for love, but farm livin' is the life for you, there's and those looking to find old-fashioned love in a new way

Love Hurts - Or Leads To Time Off
Ananova - A survey of 1,100 adults showed one in four had been absent from work when smitten with a new love. A similar proportion took time off to recover from breaking up. Online dating service parship.co.uk.

New Method of Dating Oceanic Crust Is Most Accurate So Far

2005-10-31T19:23:00.000-08:00

New Method of Dating Oceanic Crust Is Most Accurate So Far
PhysOrg - Oct 31 11:41 AM
A newly developed method that detects tiny bits of zircon in rock reliably predicts the age of ocean crust more than 99 percent of the time, making the technique the most accurate so far.Save to My Web

She has never had a serious boyfriend
Boston Globe - Oct 31 11:13 PM
Dear Beth: I'm writing concerning dating. I'm almost 17 and have never had a serious boyfriend (the last one was six months ago, and it lasted one week). I am active in sports as well as other clubs, and I have plenty of male friends. What am I doing wrong, and what can I do? I would like a boyfriend ...Save to My Web

Corrie's Sean dating Dr Who nephew
IC Croydon - Oct 31 5:42 AM
Coronation Street's Antony Cotton has split from his lover and is dating the nephew of former Dr Who Christopher Eccleston.Save to My Web

FITZGERALD IN LOVE AGAIN

2005-10-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

FITZGERALD IN LOVE AGAIN
ContactMusic - Oct 27 6:00 AM
British actress TARA FITZGERALD has found love again, with Christmas tree seller KELTEY CASTON. Fitzgerald, whose two-year marriage to American actor/director JOHN SHARIAN broke down in 2003, met Caston last year (04) when a friend gave them both keys to rent the same property.Save to My Web

Police runs
The Indianapolis Star - 1 hour, 59 minutes ago
9:06 a.m. -- Criminal mischief, 100 block of Love Avenue, Greenwood. 10:38 a.m. -- Theft, 2500 block of North Morton Street, Franklin. 10:54 a.m. -- Criminal mischief, 300 block of South Keeley Street, Edinburgh.Save to My Web

New Divorcenet.com Channel Provides Support and Information for '

2005-10-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

New Divorcenet.com Channel Provides Support and Information for '
Yahoo! News (press release) - Oct 26, 2005 As part of the 'After Divorce' Channel, Divorcenet.com is offering the industry's first free Online Dating Clinic for divorcees who are ready to get back into

AS 'Dating Game' singles out students
The Orion, CA - Oct 26, 2005 Associated Students Presents put on its own version of "The Dating Game," the classic game show that spawned dating shows such as "Love Connection" and

WNBA's Swoopes says she's gay

2005-10-27T00:51:00.000-07:00

WNBA's Swoopes says she's gay
MSNBC - her face as she discusses the love of her life.It's a love that the WNBA superstar

From Russia With Love Q&A (27 Oct 2005)
TotalVideoGames.com - FEATURE: JAMES BOND: FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE'From Russia With Love Q&A' by Chris LeytonTVG takes a trip back to the 60's to chat with the team behind Sean Connery's return as 007

Magic Johnson records ad for Bloomberg
AP via Seattle Post Intelligencer - according to a transcript provided by Bloomberg's campaign. ' I love New York- and I like what Mike Bloomberg is about

Love your body
Biz Community - initiative has been of huge success simply because 'Love Your Body' is not just a membership club - it's bodies and souls everyday, the Love Your Body Membership brings this unique

This message sent from my BlackBerry pager
The Oregonian - Make a product that people love, and pay off the sharks who say they thought of it first

Coach K officially named Olympic coach
MSNBC - NEW YORK - Coach K's first day on his new job wasn't just about Xs and Os. Army as a captain. " I love this game at every level He said, 'I love the game and the game's been good to me and we owe the game

WNBA's Swoopes says she's gay

2005-10-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

WNBA's Swoopes says she's gay
MSNBC - her face as she discusses the love of her life.It's a love that the WNBA superstar

Colbert country: You'll love it or leave it
Seattle Post Intelligencer - By MELANIE McFARLANDSEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER TELEVISION CRITICGIVEN 'THE COLBERT Report's' clear strategy and its roots in 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,' fake newsman Stephen Colbert should have it made. ' Daily Show' addicts love Colbert.

AirAsia launches "To Bali With Love" campaign

2005-10-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

AirAsia launches "To Bali With Love" campaign
The Edge Daily - Oct 26 1:50 AM
AirAsia and its sister company in Indonesia, PT AWAIR, have launched a massive regional campaign to boost tourism in Bali following the Oct 1 terrorism incident on the island.Save to My Web

10/26: Scenes from the job fair
Journal Times Online - 2 hours, 9 minutes ago
Having a job I love, it's good for me to go out to Career Fest each year and be reminded it's not something any of us can take for granted. Young and old workers are struggling, and it's not just the "unskilled" workers.Save to My Web

Eternal love and eternal life
Nuvo - Oct 26 9:42 AM
Gregory Hancock Dance Theatres annual Halloween offering has been updated for this year, but still promises the thrills of years past. Formerly titled Dracula, The Gypsy Vampires of Drakov digs past the Dracula story and looks into the world of his victims and vampires, caught between eternal love and eternal life. The addition of new scenic design by world-renowned artist Valery Kosorukov has Save to My Web

'Madly in love' couple planned to have kids
USA Today - Oct 25 4:58 PM
They were love letters above all. There was the usual clutter of Army deployment assignments, frustrations and war that filled the pages of lined paper that Staff Sgt. Joseph P. Bellavia, 28, of Clarksville, Tenn., wrote in longhand to his wife, Christine. She was the "Princess" in every salutation.Save to My Web

Kenyans Just Love Defiance And Rebellion
AllAfrica.com - Oct 26 7:39 AM
It will be a big mistake for Kenyans to vote on the referendum as a protest against authority. It would also be prudent for Kenyans to view as progressive the changes that have taken place since the coming of multiparty democracy and the opening up of democratic space.Save to My Web

JAKKS Pacific Signs Tell-A-Story License for Best-Selling Children's Book 'Guess How Much I Love You'
[Press Release] Business Wire via Yahoo! Finance - Oct 25 3:30 AM
JAKKS Pacific, Inc. announced today an exclusive worldwide licensing agreement with RJM Licensing to produce a line of JAKKS' new Tell-A-Story interactive books based on the popular children's stories "Guess How Much I Love You" and "I Love My Little Storybook" written by renowned author, Sam McBratney, and illustrated by Anita Jeram.Save to My Web

Report: Greeks want Getty to return items

2005-10-26T01:44:00.000-07:00

Report: Greeks want Getty to return items
AP via Seattle Post Intelligencer - Monday, October 24, 2005 Last updated 2:15 p.m. PT Report: Greeks want Getty to return items THE ASSOCIATED PRESS LOS ANGELES -- The J. Three items - a gold funerary wreath, an inscribed tombstone and a marble torso dating from 400 B.C

U.S. Seeks Data on Heart Device Products
New York Times - Jude described the subpoena as seeking information about 'general industry practices' dating back to January 2000

Brain implants could control blood pressure Zapping a part of the human brain with an electrical current can c

2005-10-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

Brain implants could control blood pressure Zapping a part of the human brain with an electrical current can c
New Scientist - Zapping the brain with an electrical current could one day control high blood pressure in people, a new study suggests. Previous experiments, dating back to the 1930s, have exerted a degree of mind-control over animals by electrically

Sox keep lows, highs in perspective
Chicago Sun-Times - the Sox on their best roll at the best possible time, winning 14 of their last 15 games dating to the regular season

Hampden poultry expert sheds light on old quilt
Bangor Daily News - find out more about the quilt - The book, 'Dating Fabrics: A Color Guide 1800-1960,' by Eileen Jahnke Information in 'Dating Fabrics' leads me to believe that at least some

Husky football may discover a paved road
Seattle Times - The loss to USC was UW's 16th defeat in 18 games dating to last season and 12th straight in conference games

DATING, MATING, RELATING

2005-10-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

DATING, MATING, RELATING
Cleveland Plain Dealer, OH - 11 hours ago It's no longer just the prerogative of paunchy men using trophy wives and sports cars to drive off the deep end. Women are springing

The 86-proof solution to dating, for men
SouthFlorida.com, FL - Oct 20, 2005 By Brad Dickson. What you drink might indeed give your date an immediate idea about who you are, and in this space last week female

When it comes to corruption, the candidates echo a cure

2005-10-23T06:17:00.000-07:00

When it comes to corruption, the candidates echo a cure
NorthJersey.com - 2 hours, 50 minutes ago
Anyone curious about how Republican Doug Forrester or Democrat Jon Corzine might be tainted by corruption probably has not been frustrated for lack of information, thanks to their consultants' faith in the power of negative advertising.Save to My Web

MILLER DRIVEN OUT OF THE UK
ContactMusic - Oct 23 6:30 AM
Screen beauty SIENNA MILLER is abandoning Britain for America after becoming the target of relentless media attention since her alleged affair with DANIEL CRAIG.Save to My Web

Speed dating
The Deal - Oct 21 2:38 PM
Copyright 2005, The Deal, LLC. All rights reserved. Please send all technical questions, comments or concerns to the Webmaster .Save to My Web

Toomer would love encore

2005-10-23T02:14:00.000-07:00

Toomer would love encore
Albany Times Union, NY - 7 hours ago By ERNIE PALLADINO Westchester Journal News. EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ -- As strange as it may sound, Amani Toomer stands in almost the

Review: Hard-core fans will love 'Doom'
Miami Herald, FL - 16 hours ago been. And if what I witnessed at a packed screening in Dallas is any indication, hardcore fans of the game will love it. Casting

It's either love it or hate it
Times Herald-Record, NY - 10 hours ago one of the reasons, in addition the difficulty in pronouncing the name, that these wines are not more popular: their flavor intensity makes them a love-or-hate

Love is all he needs
The Observer, UK - 15 hours ago You could imagine more 'Radio'-style Eighties power-keys, but would Robbie take to Duffy's main love - effete, even pastoral, guitar pop?

Students have love-hate relationship with recruiters
Auburn Citizen, NY - 12 hours ago By Ashley Lipksy / The Citizen. Jill Rosentel remembers being in high school and getting bombarded by phone calls from military recruiters

Red Sox loss can't diminish love for team
Boston Globe, United States - 7 hours ago beat the Twins to go into the World Series. Yaz will always be the love of my life! I wasn't as disappointed this year in their

Tootsie Roll, I think I'm in love with you

2005-10-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

Tootsie Roll, I think I'm in love with you
AdJab - Oct 22 4:26 PM
Filed under: Television Maybe I've just been feeling nostalgic lately, but I keep thinking of commercials from my childhood . For example, the jingle from this particular Tootsie Roll commercial has been stuck in my head for over twenty years. I don't think a day goes by where I don't catch myself singing it. Nowadays it's all about licensing music for commercials and other such nonsense, Save to My Web

Enjoy fall at festival
Greeley Tribune Online - Oct 23 12:58 AM
I LOVE THE FALL. I love the colors of the leaves as they change from green to orange, red and yellow.Save to My Web

Family Searches For Way to Regain Daughter They Fear Lost to Cult
KCRG - 1 hour, 58 minutes ago
(Dubuque KCRG) -- Nearly nine weeks ago, 19-year-old Ashley Fahey left her family in Dubuque. They say she wanted to become a sister in the religious group - Love Holy Trinity Blessed Mission. But now her family members are reaching out in new ways to get her back.Save to My Web

Pusat Budi Penyayang Endon's Labour Of Love

2005-10-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

Pusat Budi Penyayang Endon's Labour Of Love
Bernama - Oct 21 8:10 AM
PENANG, Oct 21 (Bernama) -- The Pusat Budi Penyayang community centre stands tall near the Dewan Milenium in Bertam, Kepala Batas, a testimony to Datin Seri Endon Mahmood's labour of love.Save to My Web

Greyhounds looking for a good home
WTNH-TV New Haven - Oct 22 12:21 PM
(Bridgeport-WTNH, Oct. 22, 2005 7:25 AM) _ Hundreds of greyhounds are going up for adoption this weekend, and they might love a couch like yours to flop on a make their home.Save to My Web

Love and death on the dance floor
The Star Online - Oct 22 5:21 PM
The sensuous, passionate dance style that is Buenos Aires gift to the world snares TOM COCKREM as he explores the origins of the dance of love.Save to My Web

How good deeds lead to a good love life
Sunday Herald - Oct 22 4:20 PM
FED up of trying to find love on the internet? Feel speed dating is a bit last season? New research suggests that volunteering might be the perfect place to find a partner, and it benefits the community .Save to My Web

The True Path to Love? Sorting Out the Options

2005-10-21T20:58:00.000-07:00

The True Path to Love? Sorting Out the Options
Christian Post - Posted: 2:05:27PM EST The issues of dating, courtship, and marriage have become hot-button concerns among is clear: The model of dating, 'hooking up,' and romantic involvement that

Objects That Speak the Languages of Love and Luxury
New York Times - Their objects are checked for authenticity and proper dating by specialists in each field before the official opening

Couples challenged to declare their love at launch of Andy Lau movie

2005-10-21T16:11:00.000-07:00

Couples challenged to declare their love at launch of Andy Lau movie
Channel NewsAsia - Oct 21 4:53 AM
SINGAPORE : Love was in the air at Bishan Junction 8 on Friday evening with the launch of the latest Andy Lau movie - All About Love. The movie stars Andy Lau in two roles - one as a paramedic who used to be a successful doctor, and another as a famous hairstylist.Save to My Web

www.theage.com.au
The Age - Oct 21 7:46 PM
If Bernard Fanning could get away with it, he would never play another live show. "I just love recording, I'd do it all year round if I could," the laconic frontman for Powderfinger, Australia's most popular band, says with a smirk.Save to My Web

Speed Dating in Chislehurst with www.Xfactordates.com > The Blue

2005-10-21T12:10:00.000-07:00

Speed Dating in Chislehurst with www.Xfactordates.com > The Blue
Skiddle.com, UK - Oct 19, 2005 and more relaxed affair, so rather than the standard speedy 20+3 minutes dates you now have the extended 5 minutes version of the speed dating craze that s

Albert Mohler
Crosswalk.com, VA - 20 hours ago The issues of dating, courtship, and marriage have become hot-button concerns among American evangelicals--and especially among young people, their parents

Dinner Dating in London with www.Xfactordates.com > Baltic
Skiddle.com, UK - Oct 20, 2005 The ticket price includes a drink on arrival, a 2 course meal (Starter/Main) and half a bottle of wine each. This is a great way

Sound dating advice from two guys with very different sex lives
The Arbiter Online - Oct 20, 2005 by Drew Lowder /Guest Opinion & Drew Mayes / Opinion Editor. Many might think that this is the easiest question in the world to answer

Reluctant Miller Begins Defense of Title

2005-10-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

Reluctant Miller Begins Defense of Title
AP via Yahoo! News - 2 hours, 4 minutes ago
Bode Miller acknowledges he doesn't love skiing the way he used to.Save to My Web

How to get over a love hangover
Handbag.com - Oct 21 9:34 AM
The residue of a past broken relationship can linger longer than you may realise. Here's how to ditch the break-up baggage and move on.Save to My Web

50 Cent concerned about finding love
WENN via Yahoo! UK & Ireland News - Oct 20 6:40 AM
Rapper 50 Cent fears he will never be in a longterm relationship, insisting his vast wealth makes it hard for him to find love.Save to My Web

Montbello wins with Love
Rocky Mountain News.com - Oct 21 1:13 AM
Brandon Love had to sit out the first six games of the Montbello football season after transferring from Denver East. At All City Stadium on Thursday, he made up for lost time.Save to My Web

Review: 'In My Life' a Bizzare Love Story
ABC News - Oct 21 8:55 AM
Arts Review: a Bizarre 'In My Life' Finds Romance in Strange PlacesSave to My Web

Fefe Dobson Says Courtney Love Is Like Her Mom
Chart Attack - Oct 20 2:21 PM
When Fefe Dobson started to work on a follow-up to her self-titled debut, she discovered that she had some friends and fans in high places. Whether they were giving her advice or working with her, a number of respected musicians were eager to help the singer develop what would become Sunday Love.Save to My Web

Historical documents on display

2005-10-21T03:48:00.000-07:00

Historical documents on display
Capital News 9 - Oct 20 1:01 PM
Documents from Saratoga County's past are now seeing the light of day after being trapped in the vaults for years. The county clerk's office put together a traveling exhibit showcasing some historical documents dating back to the 1800's.Save to My Web

On the ice
Bismarck Tribune - 1 hour, 17 minutes ago
Where: Blaine, Minn. When: Today, 10 a.m. Records: Bobcats 3-5-1; Fairbanks 6-4-3. Series: This is the only scheduled meeting between the Ice Dogs and Bobcats. Last season Bismarck and Fairbanks split two games, each winning one game in a shootout.Save to My Web

Heartbroken Jennifer Aniston finds love again with Vince Vaughn: report
AFP via Yahoo! News - Oct 20 12:19 PM
Hollywood darling Jennifer Aniston, whose divorce from superstar Brad Pitt was finalised this month, has found love again with movie funnyman Vince Vaughn.Save to My Web

Loving rescue mission proves soldier to be dog's best friend
The Charlotte Observer - 2 hours, 7 minutes ago
Lawyer John Smathers, a captain in the Army Reserve, returned from a year in Iraq with a broken arm, a wrecked knee and a chest full of medals.Save to My Web

Kobasew nets two goals in Flames win
Fox Sports - Oct 20 10:45 PM
Chuck Kobasew found the perfect way to make amends to his teammates after taking a bad penalty. Kobasew scored two goals, including the winner, to lead the Calgary Flames to a 3-1 victory over the Edmonton Oilers on Thursday night. "That's being part of being on a team," said Kobasew, who took a double minor for high-sticking early in the second period with the Flames trailing 1-0. "Guys bail you Save to My Web

Man executed in Texas murder-for-hire

2005-10-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

Man executed in Texas murder-for-hire
Seattle Post Intelligencer - HUNTSVILLE, Texas -- A man was executed Thursday night for what authorities said was a murder-for-hire scheme that culminated with the shotgun slaying of a firefighter who was dating his ex-wife. '

Bijou Phillips: Hollywood Hellcat
DOSE - Bijou Phillips: Hollywood Hellcat Irene Thomaidis Dose You can bet we'll be hearing more from hell-raising nymphette Bijou Phillips. Page Six reports that she's no longer dating That '70s Show star Danny Masterson.It was obvious the pair, who were dating for more than a year, had

Live Q&A: Dating after 40
Seattle Times - Seattle Times contributor Diane Mapes answered your dating questions and comments during a live Q&A It is like dating Santa. Talk about looking old, old, old

Al Pacino denies romancing Alley
Ananova - Al Pacino has denied he is dating Kirstie Alley. The pair were spotted enjoying a meal at a restaurant, and eyewitnesses claimed the former Cheers star was stroking the actor's thigh reports IOL.com.

Hollywood showdown
Chicago Sun-Times - BY LUCIO GUERRERO ASSOCIATED PRESS In science, stars collide about once every 10,000 years. In Hollywood, they collide weekly -- and we call them celebrity feuds. Seems this battle started when Duff started dating Lohan's ex-boyfriend, singer Aaron Carter Simpson after the lip-synching pop star started dating Lohan's ex, Wilmer Valderrama

Bungler's tale a hit

2005-10-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

Bungler's tale a hit
Daytona Beach News-Journal - 1 hour, 32 minutes ago
NEW SMYRNA BEACH -- Very few aspiring authors turn down a publisher's offer to print their book, but C.B. Crosby had a good reason to do just that. "A couple of publishers were interested in my novel," the 88-year-old New Smyrna Beach resident said.Save to My Web

What to watch
Baltimore Sun - 1 hour, 13 minutes ago
Today on TV On stage, he breathes fire, spits blood and punishes the bass as the mad demon of the rock band Kiss. But when he takes off the makeup, Gene Simmons becomes simply one more entrepreneur with book, movie, real estate and merchandising deals. And, yes, he's a family man. Learn all about a star who's outlasted his critics, and had a blast doing it, on Biography (9 p.m.-10 p.m., A&E). Save to My Web

Take Qantas to task: ALP
News Interactive - Oct 20 7:30 PM
THE Federal Government must discuss with Qantas a way for the airline to keep jobs in Australia, Opposition Leader Kim Beazley said.Save to My Web

Meeting of rockers at museum opening
Yorkshire Post - 48 minutes ago
Brian Dooks VETERAN rock'n'roller Joe Brown took time out from a British tour yesterday to open the newly extended rocking horse museum at Fangfoss, near York.Save to My Web

Kiss of life for artwork in distress
The Telegraph - Oct 19 2:22 PM
A show of restored paintings, prints and photographs, all dating from the early 1900s, opened on Wednesday at the Calcutta Club. Seeing the collection, one wouldnt guess that the 14 oil paintings had, only a few months ago, been almost unrecognisable behind layers of dark varnish.Save to My Web

Cultural differences complicate, enrich dating
Technique - Oct 18 9:35 PM
Marion Tinio and Chun Chu, both fourth-year EE students, eat lunch together. Being from different cultures adds new layers of complexity to the dating process.Save to My Web

Love those patriot games

2005-10-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

Love those patriot games
SLAM! Sports, Canada - 15 hours ago "You have to play NCAA rules, the American-sized field and even use a different football. But you have to love the challenge to do Canada proud.".

Rebel rat swam ocean to escape researchers and find love
Stuff.co.nz, New Zealand - 12 hours ago By KENT ATKINSON. The swimming ability of a rat nicknamed Razza which crossed open sea to find new territory has both impressed and worried scientists.

Heartbroken Jennifer Aniston finds love again with Vince Vaughn
Channel News Asia, Singapore - 8 hours ago LOS ANGELES : Hollywood darling Jennifer Aniston, whose divorce from superstar Brad Pitt was finalised this month, has found love again with movie funnyman

Can you feel the love?
SportingNews.com - 14 hours ago The floor of the Stan Sheriff Center in Honolulu is littered with all the trappings of training camp -- errant balls, discarded headbands, rolls of tape

STEVIE WONDER: A Time to Love
Canada.com, Canada - 11 hours ago genius. Sadly, if any material from his newest album, A Time for Love, makes the cut next year, it might clear the dance floor.

Council Move On Love Ulster Rally Is Praised
News Letter, UK - 17 hours ago By Joanne Lowry. A victims' group has welcomed a decision by Belfast councillors to support next week's Love Ulster rally. Up to

Wild Card juggernaut moves forward

2005-10-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

Wild Card juggernaut moves forward
MLB.com - 2 hours, 41 minutes ago
If the Chicago White Sox are going to end a drought of world championships dating back to 1917, they will have to put an end to one of the hottest streaks in baseball.Save to My Web

News from around Minnesota
Grand Forks Herald - 1 hour, 43 minutes ago
ST. CLOUD, Minn. - The Catholic Foundation of the Diocese of St. Cloud has announced that it received almost $4 million from two Sauk Centre farmers. The money will go to help train future priests in the diocese.Save to My Web

A league of their own

2005-10-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

A league of their own
New York Daily News - My friends and I love fashion,' she says, 'and I thought 'This is perfect for us.

Tripso: Five myths 'au naturel' holidays
MSNBC - As a college student hiking through the French Alps many years ago, I accidentally uncovered one hotel's shocking secret. I didn't mean to reveal it. with hiking trails, volleyball courts and swimming pools. (" You'll love the way you feel," it promises, "We guarantee it

Jordan: I Was 'Stupid' About Gambling
AP via Newsday - Jordan also discusses his love of basketball, his father's murder and his pursuit of privacy

10 Questions with Carly Simon
MSNBC - all standards - but standards, particularly the love songs, seem to have an idyllic look at love, while the love songs that you've written

Pacers' Jackson says NBA dress code attacks blacks
SignOn San Diego - But that's the point of them,' he said. ' I love wearing my jewelry. But I love my job. I love playing basketball more than I love getting fined and getting

When It Comes To Multicultural Dating The Most Important Ingredient Is Love

2005-10-09T01:59:00.000-07:00

Have you been only dating people from your own ethnic background, to find that no matter what you try, there just seems to be no spark or real passion occurring in the relationship? Are you just about ready to give up on finding a soul mate? Well before you lose all hope in the dating world, you may want to try exploring dating someone who comes from a different culture than you. Who knows, you may just discover that a multicultural relationship is what you need to discover that special spark you've been searching for.

One of the best ways that you can explore your dating options, without having to worry about pressures from friends or family, is to join an online dating community, such as Love Empire, which is designed to bring you close to those who share the same interests as you, regardless if they are black, white, Eurasian and so on.

Love Empire allows you the chance to really explore the beauty of the multicultural dating world with no strings attached, and no outside judgments interfering with your choices. In this online dating community the only opinion that matters when it comes to dating is your own. Therefore, listen to you heart, trust your feelings and use your common sense to decide what's best for you. Besides, the whole point to dating is to have fun, and to enjoy the company of the person you choose to be with.

There is true potential in being apart of a multicultural relationship in today's society, as these relations have really become a more common and accepted part of Western culture. Because of this, blacks, whites, Eurasians and other ethnic groups have more reason to mix together than any other time in history. For instance, it has been estimated that in Britain alone, over 30 percent of black men are either living with or are married to white women, and over 20 percent of black women are living with or married to white men. When you stop to think about that, it's truly beautiful to know that something such as multicultural relationships has grown from a small minority and become common and socially recognized.

Don't be afraid to believe in love and companionship, no matter what others may think of your interracial dating. Remember, the most important ingredient to any relationship is love. No force on this Earth is greater than that of love, and once you find it gender, age, race, and religion are nothing more than small details that add to the beauty of the individual you love.

The Many Benefits of an Online Dating Service

2005-10-09T01:55:00.000-07:00

Using an online dating service to find dates was once frowned upon and even considered scary. However, times have changed and so have the amount of people who not only approve of using an online dating service but the amount of people actually using an online dating service! Amazingly, the invention of the online dating service has gotten people out and about and dating again. If you are looking for a date, but still are a bit skeptical about using an online dating service, consider the following benefits an online dating service can provide.

Online Dating Service Benefit #1 Anonymity

You can upload a picture to your online dating service if you want, but it is not required. You will get more responses from other members of your online dating service, though, if you provide a picture. However, you will never be required to divulge your address, e-mail or phone number to any other user of the online dating service unless you desire to do so. Because of this, you can surf the available singles on the online dating service completely anonymous.

Online Dating Service Benefit #2 Choices

There are an unbelievable amount of singles that use an online dating service. Because of this, you get to review all of the available singles at your leisure and evaluating the information provided. This gives you significant information about a person’s likes and dislikes and whether you might hit it off or definitely not. By reviewing this information you are significantly ahead of the game as compared to simply meeting someone on the street or in a bar. With the online dating service you know what a person is about before you ever contact them.

Online Dating Service Benefit #3 Secure

Your online dating service will never divulge your personal information and you will have the security of blocking any user that is bothering you. If for instance a particular online dating service user sends you threatening e-mails or makes you feel uncomfortable you can simply report them and have their account revoked and at the very least block them from contacting you. This type of security is not available in real life, unfortunately, but it is through your online dating service.

Dating Online - The New Way To Meet People

2005-10-07T04:45:00.000-07:00

A lot has changed since the days of matchmaking and escorted evenings out. Dating in the 21st century has taken many turns, among these the emerging popularity of meeting partners online.

Online dating has many benefits. The shy dater can open up and get to know a person without having to deal with first-date jitters that often come from fear of the unknown. By the time he or she meets the potential paramour, they have already established a comfort level that allows the date to flow much more smoothly.

At the other end of the spectrum, social butterflies love online dating because of the number of fish in the sea. With so many people to choose from, booking several dates in a short amount of time is easy. Online dating allows you to be discreet, and it also enables you to be choosy. You choose partners based on common interests gleaned from dating profiles. This is an attractive alternative to approaching a potential mate in a bar going on looks alone.

As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself. Professional writers and photographers offer services to assist you with your dating profile. They hawk services to help you attract more hits to your online profile, which obviously helps lead to more dating options.

Dating websites vary. Some require a fee to enjoy certain benefits, such as the ability to post a picture or short video. Other dating sites offer free private e-mail accounts and access to thousands of profiles without paying a dime. When engaging in online dating, however, it is important to exercise caution.

Remember that anyone with Internet access has access to these sites. It is virtually impossible for dating sites to weed out the bad seeds; the online dater must take care in setting up dates with strangers. When first meeting face-to-face, choose a public place. Don't divulge too much information until you have a good idea of the person's character. Be careful not to tell too much too soon. With a responsible attitude and an open mind, online dating can be fun, safe, and exciting.

About Internet Dating - Reviews | Advice

2005-10-07T04:34:00.000-07:00

I don't know what you've been told about internet dating, but it's not always as easy as 1,2,3. If you've searched around or thought about it much then you're probably aware of the upsides. Ultimately, there's no better, faster way to sort through and find potential mates that fit the "profile."

You can take your search much further than you normally could offline. And if know yourself, what you want, and what to look for, you can get great results. This is the stuff advertisements are made of. But with these advantages usually come certain challenges that you'll need to work through.

By the way, if you don't know yourself well and what it is you want, that's fine. Have fun with it and learn. Just don't expect to meet your match right away. You can use the internet to help you discover these things.

What you can't do is use internet dating to smooth out all of your rough spots and work some kind of magic for you. This will not be fruitful. Because sooner or later, it all comes down to the weakest link.

As an example, some people who live in areas of low population will get online expecting this to fix that problem for them. They end up blaming the service when they don't find a lot people from their area online. They were hoping for something that the online world can't necessarily help them with.

So it may not provide the automatic solution you were hoping for. The question is, what does it allow you to do that you couldn't easily do before? How can this make up for the original problem? It's a negotiation. Sometimes you have to give a little before you can take, or in this case, before you can benefit from this new situation called internet dating.

You have to ask yourself, how important is this? In this example, would it be important enough to drive a little further or arrange to meet halfway? Because this is an option that wasn't easily available before. If not, then there must be other things that are more important. What are they?

Others become cynical and quit when their dates don't represent themselves accurately or honestly online. It can happen to anyone. It will probably happen to you. But it seems to happen a lot more to some people. There are probably two things going on there. One is akin to the inadvertant but habitual seeking out of abusive relationships. Here, the person is presented with signs of problems to come, but consitently overlooks them. Often the people around them can see something that they can't.

Or it could be just a simple matter of learning from your mistakes. You don't get to use your intuition the same way as you would in real life, so you have to develop methods that will make up for this. What I don't hear about in these cases is any attempt to prevent this by changing the way they do things. This usually explains why they're getting the same results.

It presents a challenge, but again, how could you turn this around by using the new abilities that internet dating gives you? One way is to be more direct with people in the future. This is easier for most people to do online, and as a result more common.

So learn how to take full advantage of this benefit. It may take some time. But it's hard to give internet dating a fair chance until you do. What could you learn if you could ask people the kinds of questions that can take weeks, months, even years to get answered otherwise? Remember I said that internet dating can be the fastest way to sort through people?

Here's the most common challenge of all... getting a decent response to your profile or emails. Profiles in general is a subject that's too big to get into here, so let me restrict this to email. The vast majority of this involves men. There are approximately 4 times as many men doing this than women. Add that to the fact that men initiate far more than women and you can start to see where response might be a problem.

There are many upsides that can compensate for this. A common one is that men can spare themselves the indimidation factor in approaching women. And if they play their cards right, internet dating can be a real confidence builder. Chatting with women online is a skill that's not just useful for getting dates online. It carries over to offline situations as well. But I digress...

To this problem, the basic answer is the same. That is, you have to change what you're doing to get different results. But that's a little to vague in this case. The problem is that women continue to see the same kinds of emails coming a lot of different men. For the more attractive ones, it's out of control.

Under these conditions, you have to do something fundamentally different in your approach to stand out... and standing out is the only way to get fair consideration. Just refining your current approach isn't going to be enough if your current approach isn't working.

Take a lesson from nature - evolution had the same idea when it gave male peacocks their colorful tails. What you do differently depends partly on you, because it's mostly just a matter of you being secure in your uniqueness.

But until you are, and until you've developed your unique style around that, there are some things that you have to understand. Things that most guys who aren't naturals don't know. Once you do, your results will improve dramatically, reinforcing your authentic character instead of calling it into question.

That's as much detail as I can go into in this article, but I'll leave you with this... If you want to make internet dating work for you, learn about what you have available to you, use it, experiment with it, get creative, and try new things.

At the same time, you have to be aware of what's going on in your head. In other words, what are you telling yourself? Become aware of thought patterns that are working against you. If you catch them, stop them immediately and replace them with ones that serve you better.

It's not so much what's online or what's offline that will determine your results. It's what's in your head.

Dating Tips: You Can Get The Kind Of Women You Have Always Wanted

2005-10-07T04:30:00.000-07:00

Guys who have lower self confidence when it comes to women like to think that they don't "deserve" to get the kind of women they want deeply inside. Well, if you belong to this group I have good news for you. Just keep reading!

I usually put women into 3 categories: in the first there are ugly or average looking girls. In the second category there are girls with "supermodel" looks. And I named the last category, "girls you really like". The first needs no explanation. The second category changes by time and fashion: currently, it's girls who are 180cm tall, who weigh 50kg and who have mostly blonde hair and a certain type of face. When we talk about "hot girls" we like to talk about girls in this category. But what about the third?

Have you noticed that there are certain women you have "a thing" for? These girls don't resemble the actual trend in supermodels. At least not in 100%. They are taller or shorter. They might have a bigger nose or smaller lips. They might not have the biggest boobs. But there is one thing in common: you will have a "fetish" for these girls. A little thing or feature on their body, which attracts you like a magnet.

Let's see my case as an example. I love shorter (but slim) girls who have a very fragile body-type. Are these girls 180cm tall as the current trend in supermodels dictates? No. I also love girls with exotic faces or certain exotic features on their faces. Do these girls have a baby face like supermodels should? No. Do I still like these girls? Of course! If I am with a girl like this, am I getting the kind of women I want? Of course!

I'll share a secret you will like: Oftentimes, these unique types of girls you find attractive will find your type attractive as well! When I was younger and less successful with women, I have noticed getting signs of interest from these girls I had a thing for.

Later I realized that it was somehow made to be this way: I respond to their looks and they respond to mine. As I talked to many guys since then, I had to realize that I am not alone: most of the guys experience this! I don't know if there is a logical reason behind this phenomenon, but it's not important at all. What matters is that you can attract the kind of women you have a thing for damn easily!

I don't say you should restrain yourself from going for supermodels. But do not let the trends dictate which kind of girls you should date and which kind you shouldn't. The above is the type of women, which could give you a lot of joy and happiness.

Finally, if you want to know how to seduce the kind of women you want, there is an e-book I've written. I cover each step of the seduction process, from understanding the way women think, to learning to be a Man who attracts girls with his presence, approaching women the right way, secrets of making your dates successful and effective, improving your sexual life and a lot, lot more... Whether you are ugly, bald, young, old or broke, the techniques I teach will work for you like charm!

Online Dating Made Easy and Safe

2005-10-07T04:22:00.000-07:00

As technology becomes more ingrained in our everyday lives, more people are turning to the Internet for social purposes. And over the past few years, this has become a more accepted form of communication. Friendships are formed and relationships made online.

But just how much trouble is it to join the online dating sites? And is it safe?

A few years ago, there was significant attention placed on those who turned to online dating. Consumers were warned that the sites were unsafe, used by predators who were looking for victims. But increased attention to security and awareness on the part of those using the services has made an incredible difference.

Many of the dating sites are now offering members ways to talk anonymously at first, then allowed to meet via web cam in private chat rooms. With the web cam options, it's more difficult to hide things like age.

Some sites also screen members personally. While the sites make no claims that they've gone so far as to perform background checks, they do often verify addresses and other information. Again, this isn't a full-fledged safety net, just one more precaution toward making online dating safer.

As more people are becoming completely comfortable with online communication and more people have access to Internet at home and at work, online dating sites have flourished. There are many sites that have very short sign-up processes and others that require you to answer lots of questions.

You'll typically be allowed to register for free, though you have to pay dues in order to gain access to other members' contact information. This is how the sites are able to boast that they have thousands of profiles available. Since it's free to sign up and post your information and photo, many people take that step with no intentions of going further.

If you're considering joining an online dating service, check out the membership requirements first. If security is important, take time to read what steps the dating service has taken to ensure the safety of its members.

Above all, take time to protect yourself. Remember that not everyone is honest. Just as you could meet a person on a park bench that offers lies about his or her life, you'll meet some people at online dating sites that are also untruthful. But you may also meet the love you've been looking for.

Dating and Doors

2005-10-07T04:20:00.000-07:00

Has it been a while since you have been out on a date, or maybe you haven’t been able to get a second date after your first date fiasco, this article is written as a refresher course into dating etiquette and for your learning more about what your date might like.

Rule number one when you are on a first date is to always be you. Don’t try to portray yourself as someone you are not. If you put forth a ‘fake’ personality, career, or even an untrue past, the future between you and your date will be a doomed failure from the start. If you are truly going to be honest in a relationship, you will be together because you and the other have built a relationship based on real facts, thoughts and ideas. False starts create doubts in a relationship that are difficult if not impossible to overcome.

Another steadfast rule in the dating world is do not try to focus the entire date about yourself and your world. Keep your date interested in conversation about worldly happenings, local happenings or even by asking them about themselves. Continual conversation brings about a great date for the both of you. Focus on today without focusing on where you will be tomorrow with this person; if the relationship is meant to be it will happen naturally. This brings together the honesty in the relationship through conversation. The sharing of real events, thoughts and ideas in both of your lives is how a second date is brought about because of the attraction to want to learn more about the other person by spending more time with that person.

Combining the rules

Using the two major rules as discussed above and implementing small special effects to your date will bring out the best in a budding relationship while creating lasting memories for the two of you. These ‘special effects’ in a first date can be very small gestures of kindness that portray the real person in you. While there are, many traditions that have changed over the years the following are a few you may need to acquaint yourself with. These new ‘traditions’ include the arriving in separate cars (for safety reasons), double dating (again for safety when not knowing the other person very well at all), and in going dutch on a date (creating the ‘equality’ feeling if needed), there are still a variety of personal effects that you can use to impress your date.

When you are discussing going out, ask if he / she would like to use one car – opting for whichever the both of you feel most comfortable with for the time being. You could also suggest that the two of you take cabs if you are going clubbing on a first date, resulting in not having either party on the date having to worry about drinking and driving.

As you arrive on your date, whether you are going for a walk in the park, going to the movies or going to dinner, let your date know if you like how they look, how they dress, or even if you like something about where you are going. Complimenting the other person on their appearance creates a feeling of inner confidence for that person, which brings confidence to your date because the person will feel they can compliment you in return in regards to what they like about you, without making you feel embarrassed as well.

There are a variety of simple gestures you can also use throughout your time on your date to make the two of you feel at ease. These gestures include: simply walking side by side, looking at each other when asked a question that involves the both of your input, and compromising as needed on your first date. Compromise about what the two of you do with your time together, let the date be something that the both of you would like to do or see while on your first date. Good examples of a first date might be walking through a fair, going window-shopping in the mall, watching fireworks, dancing, or you could even go to a concert that you agree to see.

When you are on a date, do your best not to finish sentences for someone when they are speaking to you in conversation. You may not realize this could appear rude when you finish a sentence for another but the conversation meaning could be altered, differed from his or her original thought. Keep the conversation balanced by asking questions about the other person’s life, ideas in life, and thoughts about what is going on in your surroundings.

No matter what sex you are, if the other person on your date is walking behind you, hold the door and allow them to walk ahead of you. Common courtesy in a relationship is the basis for a great friendship that is possible to bloom into more if nurtured.

While it may mean that you will have to restrain yourself, do not try to keep you date out longer than what they want to be. There are some very good reasons why a person may need to be home by midnight that you may not be aware of. Some of these reasons could include: early shift the next morning, they only have a babysitter for a certain time, they must have the car back by a certain time, they don’t feel comfortable in their neighborhood after a certain hour, they worked an early shift that day, or maybe the other person isn’t feeling well at that particular time.

One or both of you can inquire about contacting each other again, with numbers exchanged if easily agreed upon. If you find yourself in a situation where one is hesitant to give out a phone number, the other (who asked) might make an easy come back in conversation saying: ‘We don’t have to worry about it right now, I’ll just talk to you later when I see you…’ using wherever you met as a starting point in seeing that person again. As your date is nearing a close, be sure to ‘Thank’ the other person for spending some time with you, letting them know you had a good time with them if you did. Your being polite is a great trait to be remembered by when another is thinking about your date and the time you have spent together.

Using a few of the small gestures as listed here and using some of your own creative ideas, while you are on a first date, will increase your chances for a successful first date. Combining the special gestures and ideas into your first date while implementing your ‘real’ side and your ‘honesty’ in conversation will be the basis for a solid relationship. Remember, the reason for going on a date is to learn more about a person and for growing friendships between people, not to be looking for love around every corner or in every person that you may encounter.

The New Dating Game

2005-10-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

Are you suddenly single again? Welcome to the new dating game. Now that dating on-line is an acceptable way to meet your “match,” women often are making the initial contact. The first date is also the first impression. How can you make a positive impression?

You react to people based on how you perceive them. That’s why you need to see a current photo of the person before you even agree to the first date. Ask for a photo if one is not included in the profile. Otherwise what is the person trying to hide?

Your perceptions of the on-line profile and first date are influenced by your perceptual styles: Audio, Visual, Feeler, and Wholistic. You are a combination of all four styles but the primary style influences your actions and reactions the most.

For those with Audio as the primary style, maintaining personal control is important. If she is an Audio, the man may feel this “in-control” power emanating from her rather than warmth. Audios like being the boss. She might speak her mind and perhaps talk with a confrontational tone without even realizing it. He may back off because this is too forward for him.

Remedy for female Audios: Lighten up and be sensitive to your date’s feelings. Allow him to pursue you rather than badgering him. If you relax and realize if it’s meant to be, it will happen, that you can’t make it happen, you will be more in balance with all four of the perceptions. Your softer side will emerge.

If he is an Audio, the woman might be turned off by his sarcasm or that he cuts her off if she doesn’t get to the point. If she rambles he will become impatient. It’s all right if she contacts him but he will prefer to take charge when dating. His bluntness is normal for him but might sting if she’s a Feeler. Audios are not particularly romantic. They like a meeting of the minds–a stimulating dinner conversation makes for a great date.

Remedy for male Audios: Add a little romance to dating. Women like the attention. Avoid sarcasm and impatience, as they are big turn-offs. Instead, reveal your quick wit and be sensitive to her feelings. Although you like being the boss, remember she is your date, not your employee.

For those with Feeler as the primary style, giving and receiving love is a top priority.

If she is a Feeler, her desired outcome is: “I want him to share his life with me.” However, this sets up unspoken expectations for her date. On a TV reality show, Hooking Up, one woman said upfront that she was looking for a husband. Honesty is refreshing. Feelers like to please people. Therefore they might like to do “considerate” things, such as appearing at his door with a batch of homemade cookies, but with hopeful expectations that they will be greatly appreciated.

Remedy for female Feelers: Be aware that the desire to please others causes you to have a difficult time saying no to requests–an easy target for men. Some men might perceive your “being considerate actions” as smothering actions. Instead, they will enjoy your natural enthusiasm for living–your fun side. They will also respond to your warmth.

If he is a Feeler, he will definitely be a touchy, feely type of guy and might feel that he can’t keep his hands off of you. He will talk with enthusiasm about things he likes. He is a bit of a romantic in that he likes to do things that make you smile. However, if he likes you, you might feel a bit smothered.

Remedy for male Feelers: Touching her arm when talking and holding hands or putting your arm around her when walking is acceptable on the first date if there is a connection between you. But when you submit to “I can’t keep my hands off of her,” you might be moving too fast and she’ll start to push back. Feelers often go off on tangents when talking. Ask questions to get her involved as well.

For those with Visual as the primary style, their Achilles’ heel is perfectionism.

If she is a Visual, she can easily become frustrated or depressed because she can’t seem to find the “perfect” man. If the date isn’t turning out as she visualized it, her disappointment may transfer to him–it’s his fault. Therefore, she might be critical of some of his behaviors but believe, “If you love me, you’ll be willing to change.”

Remedy for female Visuals: Let go of perfectionism. Otherwise you might miss many likeable qualities simply because he doesn’t appear initially as you visualized him. If you love each other but there are a few behaviors that bother you, talk about it and offer solutions! Instead of expecting that he needs to change or you will change him, you’ll find that he is willing to adapt if your requests make sense. But you also need to be willing to make concessions for him.

If he is Visual, he is a romantic. He might go all out in courting you with flowers and more. If you are responsive, he will be delighted. If you’re critical or don’t show appreciation, he might withdraw into his shell and become silent. He is sensitive as are Feelers. He is talkative including all the details, but his humor often makes his stories entertaining.

Remedy for male Visuals: A small bouquet/single rose is fine for the first date. Then find out what she likes so you can plan romantic dates that you both like. You’re talkative side is entertaining to a point but allow time for her to talk too. If she isn’t overtly appreciative of your romantic settings, don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean that she didn’t notice.

For those with Wholistic as the primary style, once they get the gist of something, they take action.

If she is Wholistic, when she spots someone on-line that attracts her, she won’t hesitate to contact him and write, “Let’s get together.” She can quickly sense whether the two of you might click unless her perceptions are clouded by desperation. Then she might be blinded with, “I know you could love me if you’d just give me a chance.”

Remedy for female Wholistics: You are spontaneous and adventurous. This can be a turn-on for some men but for others who like planning the whole date, a sudden change will be upsetting to them. They might say, “But I thought we were going to do this.” Rein in your impulsiveness a bit if he is one that likes more structure. Be sensitive to what he has planned.

If he is Wholistic, he might make up his mind quickly about you. If he doesn’t reply to your e-mail message despite how strongly he “courted you” in his first messages, he’s lost interest. If he doesn’t call after the first date, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It just means he wants to move on rather than waste time on a relationship he intuitively knows won’t work.

Remedy for male Wholistics: Since you are bored with routine, express on your first date that you like to be spontaneous according to your moods. However, she needs to know what to wear so keep that in mind. You are also adventurous but horseback riding might terrify her. Ask her if she would enjoy what you are considering rather than springing it on her.

No matter what is your style, the best impression you can make on a first date is a positive and friendly attitude while you listen attentively. Also listen to your feelings during the date. No matter how nice or attractive your date might be, if you don’t feel any connection, be honest and move on. If you string him or her along, it will only make it more difficult to tell the truth later.

To Love or Not to Love?

2005-10-07T03:35:00.000-07:00

Have you ever fallen in love with two different persons at the same time? Falling in love with two different persons whom both have the same feeling for you too? Well, there is actually nothing wrong with that. In fact I would say that it is something very normal, sometimes even falling for more than two persons for some.

We are afterall human beings, creatures of great emotions. It is just natural for one to develop a liking for the opposite sex, especially when the both are getting along very well. Sometimes, it is just so hard for us to control our feeling and nevertheless, it has always been human nature to be greedy. It is always good to be able to have the best of both worlds isn’t it? But well, things are usually just not possible. At the end of the day, you just have to make your choice, to decide for yourself, your one and only love whom that person to be.

To love or not to love, it is your choice. Think of it this way. In our path of life, we are always faced with choices. Choices that we have to make decisions over; decisions that will affect our life. At circumstances, even having to make immediate decision on the spot, decisions concerning of life and death. Sometimes we made the right decision and sometimes the wrong. But no matter what our decisions might have brought so far; we accepted them, didn’t we?

That is life. There is not way the world is going to stop moving just for you. To turn left or to turn right, to move forward or to turn back, you just have to make up your mind. I should believe that you will not choose to be stuck at the cross junction for your whole life?

Well, a game of chances and uncertainties life has nevertheless always been. If you never play you can never win. You have just got to make your choice, to decide where to place your bet. You can of course choose to give up, not to risk your bet. You always have your choice. Life is just so full of choices, remember? But well, will you later regret giving up that chance when you have it?

The same goes for love. Between the both, you just got to decide whom you really like more. Well, having choices is always better than not having any at all, right?

I should also believe that you are not going to give up that chance of even placing your bet? I know it is going to be hard but do just give yourself sometime. Follow where your heart goes. Between the both, there is definitely one whom you will actually like more.

Ok, just picture this scenario; there are this two musical concert, both a once in a lifetime concert. Missing it, you will never get the chance to see it again. You have been dying to catch the shows all these while. However for such a coincidence, they are been held at the same timing on the same day. Again, I suppose you will not just give up the chance of catching both shows altogether? Between the two, you will definitely choose one right?

Finally, to get to fully enjoy the show, which you had decided upon, you just got to forget about that disappointment from missing the other show. But well, more often than not, once you found yourself in the musical concert, chances are you will be totally captured by that spectacular ambience, enjoying yourself so much, totally forgotten about any disappointment that you earlier had.

Now where we are discussing about love, it is just the same. Many at times, we just can’t bear to give up on what we already have, struggling so hard within ourselves. In the end, we might jollywell end up with nothing at all. In life, we gain some we lose some. It’s no use holding on so hard to something, which you know will not come out with anything. When you have to give up, you have to. When you have to choose, you just have to.

Just like choosing between the two musical concerts, follow where your heart goes. Once you made up your mind, everything will just seem so much clearer. Slowly, your path of love will reveal its way for you. Will it lead to happiness for you? Well again, we wouldn’t know. But if we never try we will never know. At least, I should believe that you will be much happier than to be still stuck at the cross junction, lost for direction?

Remember, the world is not going to stop turning just for you. So is with love. The two persons will not just keep waiting for you. Wishy-washy? You might just end up with nothing at all.

Happiness won’t come passing by twice, cherish it when you have it.

The Power of Love

2005-10-07T03:14:00.000-07:00

There is no doubt in my mind that the quality of love is the #1 quality that God would like to get worked into our souls and personalities. Even nonbelievers, atheists and agnostics can see the power of love and how it has the ability to change people and change lives when it is properly walked out and handled.

Hollywood has made tons of movies just on the power of love - especially the special love that occurs between a man and woman in a romantic relationship. Even hard, tough grown men can be brought to tears when watching a real well made movie made about the power of love.

The quality of love is truly universal - as it literally transcends peoples, nations and religions. Love is truly the universal language of this world and people from all different walks of life recognize it for what it truly is and understand the power that is in it.

Then when you read and study the Bible - you see the major emphasis God the Father is placing on it when He tells all of us that He wants us to love Him, to love ourselves and to love one another.

So if the quality of love is recognized by all peoples and all nations - then why is it that throughout the course of our human history there has been so many wars, so much hatred, so much crime and so much inhumanity done to our fellow man? If everyone knows what love is - then how could so many people throughout the course of human history commit the evil and atrocious acts they have committed?

Even in our day and age people still have not learned from the past - as there is just as much hatred and evil operating in this world as there has ever been. The Bible even tells us that the love of many will grow cold in the latter days - which means things are going to actually go from bad to worse in the coming years.

If man really knows what love is - then why can't more people act, operate and walk in love so they we can all live in peace and harmony with one another? Why do people have to rob, rape, kill, plunder and steal from one another? No matter what one's religious beliefs and ideologies may be - there is simply no excuse for some of the horrible barbaric acts of murder, assaults, abductions, robberies and rapes that we see on an everyday basis.

As Christians, we all know that part of the answer as to why men can't love one another in the way and to the degree that God would like from us in this lifetime is due to our fallen natures - our sin natures that we have all been born with as a result of the curse of Adam and Eve. That is why Jesus had to come to die for all of us - because we have all sinned and have fallen way short of the glory of our God.

However, even saved and born again believers have problems in being able to walk in the quality of love to the degree that God would like in our everyday lives. We all know that God is expecting us to be able to walk in His love - but we still have problems in loving our God, our families, our friends and even ourselves to the degree and to the intensity that He would like from us.

We read in the Bible about all of the verses that God wants us to walk very strongly in this quality - but we still seem to fall short of being able to actually do it in our real lives. If we all have the Holy Spirit living and operating in us - then why is it that we cannot seem to draw more of His love up into our personalities so that we can all walk with more of this quality operating in our lives?

I believe that the answer lies in the last article I did under this section titled "The 9 Fruits of the Holy Sprit." Too many Christians are trying to walk in the quality of love operating out of their own strength, out of their own emotions and out of their own flesh. Granted - God the Father wants us to do the best we can to put this quality on into the core of our personalities. But our best is not going to be good enough in this area to get the job done with the way God would like.

The reason for that is that we have all been born with these fallen, imperfect and sinful natures. This means that we are not capable of walking in perfect love - no matter how hard we try in our own natural strength. So what is the answer if we are not capable of walking in perfect love like God is?

To those believers who are really wanting to learn how to truly walk in the real love of God in their lives - there is only one way to be able to do this - and that is learning how to draw that love from the Holy Spirit. And the only way that you can get the Holy Spirit to release His love to you as one of His 9 fruits is that you have to be willing to enter into a true sanctification process with the Lord where God can start the process of making you to become more holy like He and His Son Jesus are.

There is no other way! There are no other shortcuts that you can take to get this accomplished. It is only when the love of God Himself starts to flow into your personality can you even begin to love God, love yourself and love other people to the degree and to the intensity that He would really like from you.

Once the Holy Spirit begins this sanctification process in your life - your job will be to learn how to walk, live and operate in the qualities and attributes He will start to transmit into your personality. Once the Holy Spirit starts to transmit His quality of love up into you - your job will then be to learn how to walk in that love in your words and actions with others.

Actually, once the Holy Spirit starts to transmit His love into you - it will become much easier for you to really love others in the way God wants you to be able to love them. Once you start to feel God's love for His people - you won't be able to help yourself in feeling that same love for them since God's love will start to mesh with your own love. Once God's love starts to flow and mesh into what limited love you already have - then you will be able to start to really love other people in the way that God had initially intended for all of us to be able to.

The missing ingredient in all of this is obviously the love of the Holy Spirit. It is only when the Holy Spirit starts to release His love into your personality as one of His 9 fruits can you truly begin to love your God, love yourself and love other people in the way God intended. Trying to love others with what limited, imperfect love you may already have operating in you will never get the job done - either to your own satisfaction or to the satisfaction of God Himself. That is why Jesus has told us that without Him we can do nothing - especially in the area of being able to get properly sanctified in Him.

I will give you some of the best verses from Scripture on the quality of love, and why God the Father is placing such a strong emphasis that we learn how to walk in it in our relation to Him, ourselves and to other people. God the Father is really raising the bar on this one specific quality as you will be able to see with the way that He has some of these verses worded out. He is making some extreme and radical statements with what He is expecting from us with just this one quality.

When you first read what these verses are telling us to do in reference to this particular quality - you will really be able to feel and sense your own shortcomings in this area. But again - realize that this is where the Holy Spirit will be coming in big time. Just realize that God knows that you cannot reach the level that He is looking for from you in this area - and that it will only be possible for you to reach this level only if the love of the Holy Spirit Himself is operating through you.

When you really study and meditate on the verses I will list below - you can sum all of them up in one simple statement. God is looking for you to be able to love in 6 different areas - all with the love of the Holy Spirit being available to you to help you out in each of these areas. God wants you to be able to fully love in all 6 of these realms. You are to learn to:

Love God Love yourself Love your family Love your friends Love your neighbors Love your enemies

You will notice that there are 6 specific areas that God will want you to be able to love in. Bottom line - God will want you to love right across the board - from loving Him down to being able to love the worst of your enemies. The first 4 areas are much more easier to learn how to do than the last two - especially the last one in being able to love your enemies and love those who will try and hurt you in this life.

Loving your family and friends is easy and comes very natural for many of us because of the strong bonds that we have already established with them. But learning to love some of your other neighbors who you have no real special bond with or complete total strangers will be much harder for you to do - especially with the way that our world has become with so many more people keeping to themselves and being afraid to trust anyone anymore.

However - this can be done with the help of the Holy Spirit. Once you start to feel the love of God Himself for some of these people - it will become much easier for you to befriend some of these people and help them when the need may arise. Again - Jesus is the perfect example of someone who was always helping out total strangers. When you study what He did as He was walking on our earth, He was always stopping and talking to people, along with helping, teaching, saving, healing and delivering some of these people when the need would arise. He was always there to meet their needs - especially their spiritual needs.

Just as Jesus was able to walk in perfect love in His words and actions with other people - so to can we learn how to walk in that same Godly love if we allow the Holy Spirit to enter us into this sanctification process where God the Father can then begin to work all 9 fruits of His Holy Spirit up into the very cores of our personalities.

Though we can never become as perfect as Jesus is in His walk with all of us - we can all still try to do and be the best we can be in God in our dealings and relationships with others.

Am I In Love? (Questions of the Heart)

2005-10-07T03:05:00.000-07:00

Do you feel your brains turn to mush as soon as cupids arrow spears your heart?

Did your heart ever become your goal?

Did he become your world?

Do you feel the need to control him?

Do you want to be his everything?

Did you ever change your entire world to be with him?

Did he, for you?

Do you want his eyes to be only on you?

Do you feel like you can never say anything right?

Do you try to share your thoughts with him, only to alienate him?

Do you tear your hair out every time he looks at you like you are an alien?

Do you wish today was as sweet as the first day that you laid your eyes on him?

Do you wish you had never heard any stories about his past?

Do you wish he never heard yours?

Do you expect him to read your mind?

Do you think you can read his mind?

Do you worry about things that he cannot even comprehend?

Do you imagine his answers, when he gives you none?

Do you constantly question his feelings for you?

Do you question his every decision?

Do you feel like a wallflower?

Do you wish he would not interpret your needs for weakness?

Did you grow up believing love would be safe and non confronting?

Do you like the feeling of mistrust?

Does he?

Do you feel that you are the only one in this relationship?

Did you ever think that you would feel so torn apart when you argued with someone?

Did you think that you could be so hateful with someone you love so much?

Did you ever look just at someone and just feel total unconditional love for them?

Did you think that he too would feel incompetent during sex?

Do you know that he too suffers when you look upon him with disappointment?

Does he try to reach out to you in his time of need for affection and understanding?

Do you turn away from him, hoping that he will turn to you?

Do you feel like hiding from his eyes when you feel threatened by another female?

Does he understand you at that time?

Does he support you when you feel weak and failing?

Do you support him?

Do you allow him inside your head when all you want to do is die?

Do you come home and ask him how his day was?

Do you reach for him in the quiet of the night?

Does he reach out for you?

Does he make you feel sexy with just one look?

Do you crave his touch?

Does he kiss you passionately?

Do you kiss him back?

Do you love him with all your heart and soul?

Would you die for him?

Would he die for you?

HMMMMMM!

I know that I have definitely reached each one of you reading, with at least one of these thought provoking questions. Did you ever think such a small sweet word like LOVE could be so full of emotions and feelings? Love has so many meanings:

Love means trust, even when all the cards are against you.

Love means understand at all costs.

Love means accept all without question.

Love means allowing a stranger into your heart.

Love means smiling when anyone else would frown.

Love means hugging when he cries.

Love means being silent when silence is needed.

Love means putting his feelings first.

Love means being fair.

Love means expecting fairness.

Love means commitment.

Love means fitting together.

Love means laughter.

Love means partnership.

Love means being independent.

Love means forgiveness.

Love means patience.

Love means pain.

Love means sacrifice.

Love means supporting.

Love means feeling complete.

Love means never going to bed mad.

Love means GIFT.

If you have the gift of love, cherish it, nurture it, and treat it with respect.

Never push it away, or hurt it. Never, ever abuse it, or treat it like a door mat. Embrace it.

To have the gift of love is truly an inner beauty feeling. People say they love, but truly they have no clue what love is. Love can be just as painful as it can be beautiful. It can turn on you in a heartbeat. It can become your worst enemy. It can twist your world and turn it upside down, leaving you feeling alone and empty. Love is a very powerful gift. It is when one finds true love that all of the feelings, good and bad come together. That is when they are organized and compromised to make two people into one. It is when we are one that we join forces against the world and battle together. Sometimes it feels easier to go it alone, but it is the word, "alone" that really scares me. I would rather risk it all with someone, then to be alone. To say yes to the questions above tells you that you have risked it and are in love!

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"I believe that we are here for each other, not against each other. Everything comes from an understanding that you are a gift in my life - whoever you are, whatever our differences." - John Denver

What Is True Love?

2005-10-07T03:01:00.000-07:00

Many gays will protest that God is a "God of love," and they think that as long as we're happy and in love - how could something so right be so wrong? They feel God couldn't condemn such relationships and wonder how anyone could think He would. But mortal thoughts and opinions aside (Prov. 14:12; Isa. 55:8), if there is a Creator God, and if the Bible is His Instruction Manual for mankind, we'd better base our beliefs solely on what's revealed within its pages. Faith must have a foundation (Rom. 10:17).

If the homosexual argument that "as long as we're happy and in love" is valid, couldn't the same defense be made to sanction incestuous relationships? Or premarital experiences or adulterous affairs? Do we always know what's best for us? Couldn't we be like grown-up teenagers who think they know everything, when in reality they don't?

Hasn't it been said, and true at times, that "love is blind?" Is it just a matter of feeling happy? Can't feelings fool us sometimes? Isn't that why family and friends have cautioned us to "keep your head above your heart?" Is all love proper? Are all affections good and healthy? What about being "lovesick?" Shouldn't there be some form of standards to judge by or criteria for character? Isn't there any game plan? Hasn't love too often been confused with lust (2 Sam. 13:15)?

Satan is "love!"

If we look into the Bible (not Freud, the latest sexual survey, or some kinky report), we'll find that it does condemn: the love of vanity (Ps. 4:2), of simplicity (Prov. 1:22), of excessive sleep (Prov. 20:13), of religious lies (2 Thes. 2:10), illicit sex, improper lovers, and "foreign affairs" (Ezek. 23:11, 17, 22; 16:37), of evil (Micah 3:2), drunkenness (Hos. 3:1), self-righteousness (Mat. 6:5; 23:6), of money (1 Tim. 6:10), this present world system and its ways (1 Jn. 2:15), spiritual darkness (Jn. 3:19), the kick-back of wrongdoing (2 Pet. 2:15), of ourselves in an unhealthy way and of cheap thrills (2 Tim.3:2,4), violence (Ps. 11:5), strife (Prov. 17:19), and even having a greater love for family or friends than for God (Matt. 10:37).

Therefore, the Bible clearly reveals that various forms of love and feelings are wrong, that certain human relationships are forbidden and condemned (Lev. 18), and that true love must be consistent with God's character and commandments (1 Jn. 5:3). Any other "love" isn't from God, but from Satan who is (such) "love!" He's the clever counterfeit; the snake who confuses the issues and twists the truth. It's precisely because God is Love (1 Jn. 4:8) that He wants to protect us from those Canaanite customs, perverted practices, and harmful ways that would ultimately undermine our land and lives (Lev. 18:30).

Still, some would angrily question how anyone could allow some old-fashioned Book to dictate their lives; after all, it's thousands of years old! But who would argue that the time-honored commandments against murder, or prohibition that protects private property or safeguards marriage and minds, or upholds honesty and virtue and being content are outdated? They're tried, tested, and true. Naturally, it's easier to accept something as long as it doesn't hit home or step on our toes. It's still typical, "A man (or woman) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." Don't waste your time confusing them with the facts (Matt. 7:6; 15:14).

Obviously, this is a very sensitive subject. If someone does become convinced or converted to the truth - great! More power to them. But if others choose to continue in their contrary lifestyles, dying for sex rather than living for God and His Kingdom - that's their choice. God gives us all the prerogative to do as we please, but He strongly recommends and encourages us to "choose life" (Deut. 30:10); an even more appropriate message considering the high risk of AIDS. It's so difficult to TRANSCEND HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS - but we must, if and whenever it's necessary (Mark 10:28-30).

Living Responsible Lives

The "last days" are supposed to be reminiscent of earlier times, "as it was in the days of Noah," and "as it was in the days of Lot." How was it in days of yore? Just like today. Apparently, ignoring the dire need to make drastic changes in their lives, they conducted "business as usual" and fiddled about or got carried away with less important things (Deut. 32:47; Mark 4:19). It's recorded that they ate and drank, got married, and went to work everyday - until they were consumed by their burning desires and swept away by their sins (Luke 17:26-30).

What's wrong with eating and drinking or working? We might very well wonder. Didn't God create us with an appetite and a thirst, as well as a need for physical exertion? Yes, but certain tastes, desires and relationships should be nipped in the bud; not allowed to grow or develop or take root (Jas. 1:14-15)! Many things are good of and by themselves, and not wrong, but God's imposed conditions, restraints and guidelines for us to live by.

We're meant to enjoy those foods that God has blessed and offered us (Lev. 20:25; 1 Tim. 4:5), and even have an occasional drink, if we want. The Bible condemns gluttony, not eating; drunkenness, not drinking; greed, not need. It's what we do with what we're given. And we are instructed to work and be productive, but we're also commanded to remember the Sabbath (seventh day) to keep it holy. It's counterproductive to become too busy earning a living, that we neglect learning how to live (2 Pet. 3:18)!

Although we're at liberty to do almost anything, within reason (Gen. 2:16-17), we're to remember that we're held responsible for how we handle ourselves and manage our new-found freedoms (Ga. 5:13). We're not to abuse our privileges (1 Cor. 8:9), but be careful not to get caught up in things that could too easily get out of control (2 Pet. 2:20). A night of good, clean fun can quickly degenerate into an atmosphere of "just like the old times." We're entitled to time-out with the boys (or girls), just don't let your diversion become an obsession (1 Cor. 6:12) - as my mother once warned me!

Keep Your Head Above Your Heart!

Is it - as some would charge - being cold and cruel, even inhuman, to be in control of your mind and emotions? Isn't it rather mature to exercise proper self-control, sick and tired of giving in to compulsion? Isn't it judicious to carefully cross-examine every thought, thereby destroying the defense of our death sentence, commuting it in Christ (2 Cor. 1:9; 10:4-5; 1 Cor. 11:31)?

Doing what just comes natural or seems normal might excite Nietzsche; but it's not good enough for God. God wants us - mere mortals made out of matter - to come to resemble, think and act like Him. "Like Father, like Son." Why? Is God on some big ego-trip and wants a bunch of clones to come along for the joy-ride? No, but because it's the only way that'll work. He ought to know the secret for living happily ever after.

Mankind, after all, was created in the image of the Godkind, and shares the awesome potential to become composed of God's Spirit - after we've developed His characteristics (1 Cor. 15:53). God's eager to award us all the Diploma of Divinity after we've finished the course of conversion (2 Cor. 3:18). Therefore, instead of just doing what comes natural - we're to do the supernatural! We're to turn the other cheek instead of busting their jaw; forgive rather than fume; pray for our enemies rather than swear revenge, giving peace a chance. We're continually called to be different - in contrast, not conformity, to this world (Rom. 8:29).

Tough-Love

There is a time and a place for "tough-love." We're not to show the "mercy of fools" for welfare frauds or lazy bums (2 Thes. 3:10), or have compassion on cold-blooded murderers or hardened criminals, despite their many appeals (1 Sam. 15:32-33; Rom. 13:4).

We shouldn't refuse to use corporal punishment (Prov. 13:24). It might hurt for awhile, but hopefully the lesson (that actions have consequences) will last a lifetime (Prov. 19:18; 23:13; 29:15). It could keep them out of worse trouble later (Ecc.8:11).

We're also not to allow our emotions for loved ones to lead us to hell (Deut. 7:3-4; 13:6-9), or wrong relationships to get in our way. Despite the grief of saying goodbye, and the pain of tearful separation (2 Sam. 3:14-16; Ezra 10:3), you've got to do what you've got to do. Why make it any more difficult? Don't procrastinate and prolong your misery. Get it over with and get on with your life! We don't have time to waste in no-win situations (Ephes. 5:16).

We shouldn't try and be more understanding and tolerant than God, but refuse to even associate with a Church member who's living in sin without any apology or shame (1 Cor. 5:1-2, 9-13). And we should NEVER entertain any notions about ordaining such people!

Of course, we shouldn't cop a self-righteous attitude (Ga. 6:1), but realize the prayerful purpose is to help restore everyone to their senses (knowing that ongoing sin results in an eternal separation). If and whenever such a person "comes to" (Luke 15:17, 20), he's to be welcomed back with wide-open arms (2 Cor. 2:6-8). A little love can go a long way, and encourage us to do even better - rather than give up. But sometimes the situation calls for "shock-treatment" (tough-love), as well as private counseling. "Different strokes for different folks," so to speak (Lk. 12:47-48).

The moral of this story? Don't get blinded by the light: the glitter of "love," the hot-flash of emotion, and the gleam of relationships (2 Cor. 11:14). The going price for fool's gold is too high to pay. Walk away. It's not worth it.

Find Your Love As Early As Possible

2005-10-07T02:40:00.000-07:00

Life is made of innumerable dots. Dots, which are part of your today life, will connect with tomorrow dots.

All these dots are invisible. It takes time to connect the past with future and vice versa. Steve jobs life was a sum of misfortune and fortune. His biological mother, an unwed graduate gave him to a lovable parent, who brought him up. When he went to college, he realized that he was not very much interested in study. He felt guilty of spending his parent’s hard earned money. He finally left the graduation.

For next 18 month he hanged around the college. He slept on floor in his friend’s room. He uses to walk 5 to 6 miles on Sunday to reach a Harey Krisna temple for his best dinner of the week. It is never visible, how life was connecting his life for coming future. He learned design and music. He was not sure where it will lead him in life.

But his canny for sophisticated design was very much visible in his product at Apple, the Macintosh. He founded Apple computers with Woz and in 10 years of operation, made it a $2 billion company. But then Apple board fired him. It was a real blow to Steve. The body, which loved most, was snatched from him.

Steve was very unsure what to do after this. He was a public failure. He wanted to run away from Silicon Valley. But his love for his kept his inner core burning. He started out again with a company named Next, and another one Pixar. The course, at graduation in design helped him a lot here. Finally Apple bought Next and Pixar. Steve became the CEO of Apple again.

All the dot of this story was interconnected and woven by destiny. It could have been a frustrating journey. But in words of Steve, “sometime life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t loose faith. I am convinced that only thing that kept me going was my love for what I did. Your work is going to fill a large part of day and you can be satisfied only when you believe in your work and love it. If you have not found your love keep looking for it.”